Thanks to Melvin E. Taylor, one of my Publicity Hounds, for sending this press release that promotes a summer festival in New York City.<\/p>\n
This is a case of trying to fit 10 pounds of copy into a 5-pound container. When I first read the press release, my eyes didn’t know where to look because there’s no major headline in larger type, just a long list of performers in bold type. Also, italics are very difficult to read on a computer screen. All that copy in bold and italics crammed into long\u00a0 paragraphs look like giant blobs of grey type that make your eyes glaze over.<\/p>\n
My rewrite doesn’t include any bold or italics. That’s because it’s neatly organized with short easy-to-read paragraphs.<\/p>\n
In-depth background on the performers and the event sponsor is the type of information you can provide at a website, then link to it from the press release. I called Melvin for some additional details to add to my rewritten version. I also included a note at the end telling editors where they could find colorful photos from a previous festival. Photos are what often catch people’s attention first.<\/p>\n
I was pleased to see that Melvin’s version included information on how to get to the Lincoln Center—very helpful, especially in a big city like New York that attracts lots of summer tourists.<\/p>\n
BEFORE<\/p>\n
For Immediate Release<\/strong><\/p>\n The Franklin H. Williams Caribbean Cultural Center African Diaspora Institute\u00a0\u00a0Celebrates 30th Anniversary\u00a0Honoring Cultural Icon Cheryl Byron<\/strong><\/p>\n Rapso Queen\u00a0 & Pioneer<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n 11th Annual Day Long FREE Event<\/strong><\/p>\n \u2018Carnival in New York\u2019 <\/strong><\/p>\n Sunday, August 13th, 2006<\/strong><\/p>\n At Lincoln Center\u2019s Out of Doors Festival Summer Series<\/strong><\/p>\n The Mighty Sparrow<\/strong><\/p>\n Calypso King of The World<\/strong><\/p>\n Performance 8pm<\/strong><\/p>\n \u00a0New York, NY \u2013 July, 17th – The Caribbean Cultural Center\/African Diaspora Institute is hosting their ‘Carnival in New York’<\/strong> festival at prestigious Lincoln Center for the Performing Arts<\/strong>. \u2018Carnival in New York\u2019 <\/strong><\/em>is part of the Lincoln Center\u2019s Out of Doors Festival Summer Series and this year will be its 11th \u2018Carnival\u2019 with Lincoln Center. Our festival is one of the Lincoln Center\u2019s most popular events with attendance normally reaching over 10,000 people. This is a free event for the public that aims to reflect the cultural traditions of Carnival throughout the African Diaspora. For more information: www.cccadi.org<\/a> . \u2018Carnival in New York\u2019 <\/strong>will be a day-long out of door festival with artist workshops, food, vendors and musical and dance performances from 12noon to 3pm<\/strong> at Lincoln Center\u2019s Damrosch Park Band Shell. The festival will conclude with a performance by The Mighty Sparrow<\/strong> <\/em> at 8:00pm with a special tribute performance dedicated to Cultural Icon Cheryl Bryon <\/strong><\/em>by the Something Positive Dance Troupe<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n Day Performances<\/strong><\/em> \u2013 Time: 12noon-3pm<\/p>\n NY Daily News Caribbeat C.A.S.Y.M Steelpan Orchestra – Trinidad Pan Music<\/em><\/p>\n Garifuna – Afro-Caribbean Punta Music<\/em><\/p>\n Kongo\u00a0 – Haitian Rara Music<\/em><\/p>\n Puntilla y Su Nueva Generacion-\u00a0 Cuban Comparsas\u00a0 Music<\/em><\/p>\n Rajkumari Cultural Center\u00a0 – Chutney Indo-Caribbean Dance<\/em><\/p>\n Ologunde – Brazilian Samba Music<\/em><\/p>\n The Franklin H. Williams Caribbean Cultural Center\/African Diaspora Institute,<\/strong> commonly known as the Caribbean Cultural Center,<\/strong> was conceived in 1976 by Marta Moreno Vega with the vision to create an international organization promoting and linking communities of African descendants wherever our communities are alive.\u00a0 Currently, the Center is celebrating its 30th Anniversary<\/strong> year 2006 which includes a year of extraordinary programs that reflect and improve on its past successes.\u00a0 For complete information on the Center, its year-long 30th Anniversary or its Xenobia<\/strong> exhibit (more) or \u2018Carnival in New York\u2019<\/strong> at Lincoln Center call 212.307.7420 ext 3006 or go online to www. cccadi.org. \u00a0By Subway: The closet station is 59th Street \u2013 Columbus Circle. You can use the 1,A,B,C & D all stop at this station.\u00a0 By Car: The Westside Highway to the 57th Street exit.\u00a0 Continue on 57th Street & 10th Avenue & Amsterdam Avenue<\/p>\n About Cheryl Byron <\/strong>– A true Pan-Caribbean woman, an Africanist, feminist, educator, performer, pioneer and activist Ms. Byron<\/strong> was a woman of many firsts. The first to perform her brand of poetry in a Calypso tent to the sound of drums; the Mother of Rapso she was composing and performing Rap (Dub) poetry before it was christened Rapso she called them \u201cpoem songs.\u201d She not only believed in the validity of the cultural and artistic expressions that came out of Trinidad and the Caribbean, but she advocated on its behalf. \u00a0As an educator she taught at all levels from Pre-K to the University to senior citizens infusing her lessons with humor and real life examples that endeared her to all that were in her range of influence. \u201cPassing on the Tradition\u201d a program founded by Ms. Byron was the first program devoted to ensuring that urban youth knew all they could about the phenomenon called Carnival and the Global masquerade legacy so often neglected in this society and considered trivial and simple revelry by many. She also co-founded the annual Youth Pan Festival<\/strong> which is devoted to music literacy. Many of whom have gone on to become musicians and scholars as a result of scholarships and opportunities afforded them by participation in the Festival.\u00a0 Perhaps her most significant contribution was the founding of Something Positive, Inc.<\/strong> – a performing arts and education company dedicated to the art and culture of the African Diaspora and its cross \u2013cultural influences through art and education. Something Positive has a repertoire of original works, most of which were written and composed by Ms. Byron, and a growing repertoire of new work influenced by Ms. Byron and the mission of the institution.<\/p>\n AFTER<\/p>\n \u2018Carnival in New York\u2019 will celebrate Caribbean culture<\/strong> Free daylong festival features art, New York, N.Y. \u2013 July 17, 2006\u00a0 — The streets around Lincoln Center for the Performing Arts will come alive with music, food and art from the Caribbean when the Caribbean Culture Center sponsors its 11th Annual \u201cCarnival in New York\u201d Aug. 13.<\/p>\n The free daylong festival, part of the Lincoln Center\u2019s Summer Out of Doors Festival Series, attracts more than 10,000 people each year. It will feature vendors selling artwork and traditional Caribbean food like roti, a bread rolled in chickpeas, and a variety of island drinks, from sweet sorrel to bitter mauby.<\/p>\n Caribbean musicians and dancers will perform from noon to 3 p.m. at the Lincoln Center\u2019s Damrosch Park and Band Shell. Festival-goers can dance in the streets to the sweet sounds of music from Trinidad, Cuba, Brazil, Venezuela, and islands in the Caribbean.<\/p>\n Vendors will sell T-shirts, crafts and flags from Caribbean countries. Children can play games and have their faces painted.<\/p>\n At 8 p.m., The Mighty Sparrow, known as \u201cThe Quintessential Calypsonian,\u201d will perform. The Something Positive Dance Troup will dedicate its performance to cultural icon Cheryl Byron, a Pan-Caribbean feminist, educator and author.<\/p>\n For more information about the Caribbean Cultural Center and its 30th anniversary celebration, call 212-307-7420, Ext. 3006 or visit www.ccadi.org. \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n Directions to the Lincoln Center:<\/p>\n By subway, the closest station is 59th Street-Columbus Circle. You can use the 1, A, B, C and D trains. By car, take the Westside Highway to the 57th Street exit and continue on 57th Street to Tenth Avenue and Amsterdam Avenue.<\/p>\n Note to Editors: You can download colorful photos of the entertainers and past carnivals at \u00a0www.XXXXXXXX.com…<\/p>\n ###<\/p>\n Are you moving? If so, it’s an opportunity to change your address not only with the post office, but in a press release.\u00a0<\/p>\n Next:<\/strong> Avoid alphabet soup.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Press Release Tip 45 How to promote an event Thanks to Melvin E. Taylor, one of my Publicity Hounds, for sending this press release that promotes a summer festival in New York City. This is a case of trying to fit 10 pounds of copy into a 5-pound container. When I first read the press\u2026 Read More<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_genesis_hide_title":false,"_genesis_hide_breadcrumbs":false,"_genesis_hide_singular_image":false,"_genesis_hide_footer_widgets":false,"_genesis_custom_body_class":"","_genesis_custom_post_class":"","_genesis_layout":"","iawp_total_views":2,"wds_primary_category":581,"footnotes":""},"categories":[581],"tags":[],"class_list":{"0":"post-217","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","6":"category-89-press-release-tips","7":"entry"},"featured_image_src":null,"featured_image_src_square":null,"author_info":{"display_name":"Joan Stewart","author_link":"https:\/\/purelysupp.com\/publicity\/author\/jstewart\/"},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/purelysupp.com\/publicity\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/217","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/purelysupp.com\/publicity\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/purelysupp.com\/publicity\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/purelysupp.com\/publicity\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/purelysupp.com\/publicity\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=217"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/purelysupp.com\/publicity\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/217\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/purelysupp.com\/publicity\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=217"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/purelysupp.com\/publicity\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=217"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/purelysupp.com\/publicity\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=217"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}
\nAug. 13 at Lincoln Center<\/strong><\/p>\n
\n\u00a0food, calypso music, dancing in the streets<\/p>\nOpportunity #45 to write a press release: A new address<\/h3>\n